Guilt Pancakes and random thoughts…


I am sitting here in the “family room” of my babies new daycare facility waiting for it to be noon so the second and final trial run day will be over. I will openly admit I think it may be harder on me then them at this point. I am grateful for that though.

As I sit here I am baffled that it has been three years since I first went on maternity leave with my first little love, my “Blueberry”. I was a mixture of overwhelming love and fear I was fully responsible for such a precious little life. I will be forever grateful for having the time home with my little loves that I did. I know how lucky I am and how great my hubby is for supporting the decision.

It is hard to believe that three years have passed so quickly. I have been privileged to see my little loves grow and learn every step of the way. I have also finally finished the academic part of my life’s work, to become a Mental Health Therapist. In between being a new Mami and then becoming a Mami again and all that entails I am proud to say I should be graduating in the spring.

This brings us back to why I am here at the daycare. I have to complete two sessions of unpaid internship which will end in May(when all goes well). With working full time hours there was no way to coordinate like we have been to care for the babies ourselves. I cannot in any way complain, the facility is a dream and I couldn’t have scripted it better myself.

The feeling of being separated from them is so surreal though. I will not pretend there are not days where I am exhausted and overwhelmed but I adore being with them more than anything I have ever done. They really make any day better. I am so thrilled for all the opportunities and chances to grow for all of us but I am going to miss them like crazy!

As for the “guilt pancakes” those are real. I made them orange blueberry ones yesterday because I felt bad about bringing them and not knowing what I would be preparing for. I figured a nice breakfast would soften the blow. I have to say there have been some rough spots but overall it has gone well. Monday and how Mami will react leaving the building is another story…..:) Wish me luck!

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